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No matter how much I like someone and enjoy their company; no matter how great a party or event is, I get to a point where my ability to socialise has run out and I need to be alone. Being around other people drains my energy. An extrovert on the other hand, recharges their batteries with other people.


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They love to attend social events and spend time with friends or just generally around people. Being around people lifts them up.

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One way of explaining the difference is this: Where an extrovert might ask a friend or two to come along with them on a car journey, an introvert would relish the chance to spend some time alone with their thoughts. I was shy all my life, until fairly recently. I was scared to speak to people in the street, even if I knew them.

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Still, I did it and I had a great time. You can overcome shyness with simple techniques and ongoing work.

For so long, I thought there must be something wrong with me. I remember one specific relationship I was in several years ago, where we would spend the whole weekend together — and by Sunday evening I was about ready to explode; I just wanted to be on my own. I can also take steps to ensure I have dedicated time on my own to allow me to recharge my batteries. Similarly, as much as I love my child more than I ever thought possible, I still need alone time. Being a single parent, alone time can be somewhat lacking.

Mumsnet lone parents dating

When I first returned to work after having S, I had no time to myself. I would drop her at nursery in the morning and go straight to work, take a minute lunch, and then leave work and go directly to nursery to collect her.

It was draining beyond belief. I knew this could never be a long-term solution — for this and many other reasons.

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I know that I need to protect my alone time so that when I am with S I am not already frazzled from spending time with others. Now I am self employed, this works really well for me. I work from home, and do my best to ensure I have at least one day at home alone each week. When I have training clients, workshops, meetings or other appointments I spread them out so that I still have plenty of time alone. I guard my alone time; it is sacred to me.

S goes to bed earlier than a lot of her friends, and we have a set routine that works well for us and ensures I get an hour or so to myself once she is in bed. I also get up early in the mornings in order to have some silence before she gets up.

We have an agreement, now that she is older, that if she wakes up and I am not there, she knows I will never be further away than the living room — and that she is free to play with her toys or a game on the tablet until I come upstairs. It works well for both of us. Yes, I am incredibly unsociable — but it is more important to me that I have enough energy left at the end of the day to be kind and patient with S.

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Are You an Introvert? - Single Mother Ahoy

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